I was watching CNN a few weeks ago and Barack Obama was being interviewed by Wolf Blitzer. It was a short interview and I cannot even remember the subject matter although I think it may have been related to the economic crisis and the bailout, etc, etc... After the interview was over I turned over to Fox News and Brit Hume was doing his best to speak clearly about whatever nonsense was before him on the teleprompter. Brit Hume appears to have some disorder in which he mumbles and also talks as though his mouth is full of food. Whenever I am unfortunate enough to watch him I always anticipate him accidentally spewing food or drink out of his mouth and onto the table. Watch him and see if I'm wrong.
Back to my story - Brit Hume was talking about some non-memorable issue and mentioned that Barack Obama would be coming on in a few moments. Having just heard him speak on CNN, I wanted to see how different his interview was going to be on Fox. Brit Hume continued with his current story and transitioned to another one. This one caught my attention. Brit Hume, on Fox News, the nationally broadcast news channel, featured a story on an Hispanic man in South Charleston, West Virginia who was arrested for Driving While Intoxicated. Brit Hume continued explaining the story with intermittent chuckling. He said the man was arrested and while in the police station to take the breathalyzer exam the officer noted in his report that the man had "broken wind" in his face and that he had "detected a strong odor." The intoxicated man was then charged with assault on a police officer. Brit Hume could barely control himself or his mouthful of food during the entire story.
That's not much of a story especially considering that this was national news. Seems like such a small story and it came at such an odd time. Or so I thought. As soon as Brit Hume finished his story and swallowed more mouthjuice he announced that they were going to Barack Obama for the interview. There was no tangible break between the stories. Brit Hume went straight from farting in a police officer's face to Barack Obama with barely enough time for Brit Hume to clear his throat.
The funniest part of it all was Barack Obama's comment. As he was being introduced by Brit Hume he was visible on the splitscreen with a genial smile on his face. Then, first words out of his mouth in his typical composed self, Barack Obama told Brit Hume that he was "enjoying listening to the lead up" and began smiling from ear to ear. I laughed out loud. Seems strange that a national news broadcast would preface an interview with a candidate they don't support with a fart story. And I think that is very telling of Fox News and those who watch it as their primary news source. They feel they are more sophisticated or refined but they get their kicks from fart jokes. They are perpetually in sixth grade.
I thought maybe this was a fluke of some sort. That maybe they had a slow news day and had to fill their air with small town non-stories of people farting. That they were compelled to broadcast coverage of tispy tooters due to contractual obligations between Fox News and small municipalities under the Flatulence Agreement of Rural Towns (F.A.R.T.). But since I just made F.A.R.T. up, I have yet to see any of this documented anywhere so I am left to believe that they honestly believe fart jokes are funny (which they can be, in the right context. Not in news coverage, just in middle school gym class or in blogs).
So maybe it was a one time deal. I didn't think too much more about it until about six days later. I caught Brit Hume on again at the exact same time, six-thirty in the evening, on the dot. They had just finished some Obama story and it was followed by another unconnected story, this one from Australia. Brit Hume mumbled that some people in Australia were pushing for the use of kangaroos in place of cows as a source of meat. Brit Hume began chuckling again and continued stating that some people believe kangaroos are a better alternative for various reason including an environmental one. Brit Hume explained through his swampmouth chuckling that kangaroos emitted less methane than cattle. Brit Hume laughed again and that was the end of the story. How sophisticated.
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A quick note, Obama was born in Hawaii and is going back later this week to visit his ailing grandmother. There was a photo of him attached to the story in which he appears to be wearing Maui Jim sunglasses, a company based in Hawaii. It just so happens to be the kind of sunglasses that I wear and they appear to be the same style. If he didn't have your vote before, he should definitely have it now.
4 comments:
Interesting story. I have to ask though... "The intoxicated man was then charged with assault on a police officer." Really? For farting? REALLY? Isn't the charge of assault on a police officer pretty damn serious? Did he sit on the officer's face when he did it? Did he hold the officer's nose open and force him to whiff it? Or did he let one go because he was drunk and didn't have too much control of his bodily functions? I mean... really? Assault?
Who helped you pick out those sunglasses? Oh, yeah. . .Not that I expect any kind of eclat or shout-out, but I'd just like to point out that my excellent taste has put you in the realm of Obama.
You're welcome.
Dave, you sir, are a steely-eyed missile man. You are correct that an assault charge is hefty for such an act. I neglected to add that the drunk guy farted in the officer's face. I will go back and add that to the post. You are in the lead for Blog Commenter of the Week. I'll announce that winner at a later day and time.
i think you should include a picture of you wearing those sunglasses while striking a similar pose so we can get the full effect.
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