What's the Spanish Word for "Pathetic"?

I was speaking with two classmates as we were walking out of the most recent test. They both remarked how hard the test was while I was thinking the test was pretty easy. I also thought that my thoughts on it's ease would foreshadow a lower grade. I was right. I found it hard to study for this test and this is the test I should have studied for more than others. This chapter had more information than most and the teacher told us it was more involved. Aside from lack of proper studying, I had a little confusion on the test itself but our teacher was not present on test day. He had another instructor fill in for administering the test while he was gallivanting about doing who knows what. Either way, I'm not terribly happy with the result which was a "C". Could have been worse, I guess.

We just had a geography quiz on countries and capitals of the Spanish-speaking world. I believe I missed one out of ten. We'll get that back soon, maybe Monday, but we have the chapter five test then also. Those will be posted when I get them back. Try to hold back your excitement.

Fair and Balanced

I am not really one to watch Fox News, but as of late I've been logging more time with them to see how they are putting their conservative slant on the Presidential campaigns and other current event topics. I feel it's good to get a balance of perspectives although Fox News is anything but balanced. It's interesting to note that Fox News holds themselves to a "higher standard" and give off the impression that they are more civilized and intelligent than other people.

I was watching CNN a few weeks ago and Barack Obama was being interviewed by Wolf Blitzer. It was a short interview and I cannot even remember the subject matter although I think it may have been related to the economic crisis and the bailout, etc, etc... After the interview was over I turned over to Fox News and Brit Hume was doing his best to speak clearly about whatever nonsense was before him on the teleprompter. Brit Hume appears to have some disorder in which he mumbles and also talks as though his mouth is full of food. Whenever I am unfortunate enough to watch him I always anticipate him accidentally spewing food or drink out of his mouth and onto the table. Watch him and see if I'm wrong.

Back to my story - Brit Hume was talking about some non-memorable issue and mentioned that Barack Obama would be coming on in a few moments. Having just heard him speak on CNN, I wanted to see how different his interview was going to be on Fox. Brit Hume continued with his current story and transitioned to another one. This one caught my attention. Brit Hume, on Fox News, the nationally broadcast news channel, featured a story on an Hispanic man in South Charleston, West Virginia who was arrested for Driving While Intoxicated. Brit Hume continued explaining the story with intermittent chuckling. He said the man was arrested and while in the police station to take the breathalyzer exam the officer noted in his report that the man had "broken wind" in his face and that he had "detected a strong odor." The intoxicated man was then charged with assault on a police officer. Brit Hume could barely control himself or his mouthful of food during the entire story.

That's not much of a story especially considering that this was national news. Seems like such a small story and it came at such an odd time. Or so I thought. As soon as Brit Hume finished his story and swallowed more mouthjuice he announced that they were going to Barack Obama for the interview. There was no tangible break between the stories. Brit Hume went straight from farting in a police officer's face to Barack Obama with barely enough time for Brit Hume to clear his throat.

The funniest part of it all was Barack Obama's comment. As he was being introduced by Brit Hume he was visible on the splitscreen with a genial smile on his face. Then, first words out of his mouth in his typical composed self, Barack Obama told Brit Hume that he was "enjoying listening to the lead up" and began smiling from ear to ear. I laughed out loud. Seems strange that a national news broadcast would preface an interview with a candidate they don't support with a fart story. And I think that is very telling of Fox News and those who watch it as their primary news source. They feel they are more sophisticated or refined but they get their kicks from fart jokes. They are perpetually in sixth grade.

I thought maybe this was a fluke of some sort. That maybe they had a slow news day and had to fill their air with small town non-stories of people farting. That they were compelled to broadcast coverage of tispy tooters due to contractual obligations between Fox News and small municipalities under the Flatulence Agreement of Rural Towns (F.A.R.T.). But since I just made F.A.R.T. up, I have yet to see any of this documented anywhere so I am left to believe that they honestly believe fart jokes are funny (which they can be, in the right context. Not in news coverage, just in middle school gym class or in blogs).

So maybe it was a one time deal. I didn't think too much more about it until about six days later. I caught Brit Hume on again at the exact same time, six-thirty in the evening, on the dot. They had just finished some Obama story and it was followed by another unconnected story, this one from Australia. Brit Hume mumbled that some people in Australia were pushing for the use of kangaroos in place of cows as a source of meat. Brit Hume began chuckling again and continued stating that some people believe kangaroos are a better alternative for various reason including an environmental one. Brit Hume explained through his swampmouth chuckling that kangaroos emitted less methane than cattle. Brit Hume laughed again and that was the end of the story. How sophisticated.


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A quick note, Obama was born in Hawaii and is going back later this week to visit his ailing grandmother. There was a photo of him attached to the story in which he appears to be wearing Maui Jim sunglasses, a company based in Hawaii. It just so happens to be the kind of sunglasses that I wear and they appear to be the same style. If he didn't have your vote before, he should definitely have it now.

ACL Reconstruction Surgery

My knee surgery was a simple procedure by today's medical standards and I equated it with a visit to the dentist: you check in, go to the work room, the dentist does his stuff, you leave and he goes about his business for the rest of the day. While my procedure was slightly more complicated than a tooth cleaning or slapping on some porcelain veneers, the basic idea held up.

Upon arrival I checked in with the receptionist and had a seat in the waiting room where one other patient had already taken a seat. I noticed at least one other person come in after me and sit down before my name was called and I was whisked away to the back rooms of the surgical suite. There I was given my gown and was told I could keep my shorts on and they gave me a bed to lay in. Various nurses and doctors came and went all verifying what the procedure was going to be and which leg it was going to happen on. I had to point to the leg being worked on and a nurse drew a large neon green circle on that leg that the doctor later initialed. They started an IV on me and after having the area around my knee shaved they gave me a few pills to help start the anesthesia process. They wheeled me into the surgical suite, had me transfer to the surgical bed and told me to lay back and relax. By now the pills had begun to work pretty well and I was feeling light headed. They were still asking me questions which I fully remember still but I could tell I was getting loopy. A lady held the oxygen mask over my face and before she set it down over my nose and mouth she told me to just take a few deep breaths and relax, that it was "just oxygen." Being a little loopy, I didn't quite believe her and I thought this was the moment that I would be put under completely so I asked her, "Is that code for knock-out gas?" I remember taking two breaths and thinking I should take another one. That was it. Next thing I know I am waking up, freezing my ass off and shivering like I took the Polar Plunge. I knew immediately where I was and what had happened but my body didn't intuitively know that it took two to two-and-a-half hours to complete. They put me in a chair and put some blankets on me and maybe my fleece. After a very short time they wheeled me to an exit door where my ride had already positioned the car. I easily got up and entered the car and was transported home. That was it. In and out, assembly line style with the casualness of getting a dental check up.

Beginning that night I was supposed to begin using two devices. One is a fancy (and expensive) ice pack-like machine that pumps ice water from an insulated container (resembling an Igloo Cooler) through some tubes to a bladder designed to fit around the target body part. The ice water then circulates through and continually cools a large amount of area without having the aggravation of traditional ice packs. The blue bladder around me knee in the photos is the bladder. The other machine is a Continual Passive Motion machine (CPM). You strap your leg into the machine and it will slowly and quietly bend your knee over and over for a doctor-prescribed six hours a day. The purpose of this machine is to keep your knee flexibility so the scar tissue doesn't shorten your range of motion. This machine was only needed for about six days.

On the seventh day I had my follow up appointment. I went back to the doctor's office and was examined by a few medical personnel and had my sutures removed. The doctor took a look and thought I was progressing nicely. They also provided me with a few photos taken on the inside of my knee with their arthroscopic camera. Just as a reminder, I had a portion of my patellar tendon removed to replace the missing ACL. Here's a basic idea of how they remove the tendon:

When they took the brace and bandages off I was met with a bruised and shriveled leg. Blood from normal bruising had been pushed away from the knee by the bandages and had surfaced on my lower leg and mid-thigh. It was very dark and colorful but basically residual "bruising." I was too busy looking at my sutures and bruises that I didn't notice my quad muscles (the ones on the front of your thigh). Or I should say, I didn't notice where my quad muscles had been. I was told they would atrophy but I wasn't expecting it to happen within the first week. Apparently, it happens quickly because once some of the nerves are cut, as they would be with any knee procedure, the muscle dwindles away and "falls asleep." Through physical therapy you are able to reawaken some of the remaining muscle tissue but you will need to build some also. In the below first and second photo you can see the bruising or discoloration of my lower leg. In the third photo you can see the sutures, the entry point they used to remove my patellar tendon, and you can get a feel for how emaciated my leg now looks. My thigh is to the bottom of the photo, leading up to my knee, with my calf in the upper portion. And while my calves were small to begin with, the right calf is now slightly smaller than what it was. The striations you see on my leg were left from the bandaging.



The following will include links to the arthroscopic photos. Each photo is actually four photos together.

Let's examine the first photo. In the upper-left corner is a general photo from inside, looking across the knee to the other portal (a "portal" is the term used for the site where the arthroscopic scope/tools are inserted). Through the other portal you can see another scope. In the upper-right corner you can see what I was told was knee "junk." Just stuff in the knee. I cannot remember if that is natural or related to the injury. I do remember that the darker color is due to bleeding from the intial injury. It is supposed to be more white, like in the photo in the bottom-right. That photo is of my knee and looks pretty good. The last photo in the bottom-left is damage to the bone from the injury. That chip-mark is damage caused from bone-on-bone contact.

Looking at the second photo you can see where my ACL used to be. It would normally be extending from the bottom-right corner to the upper-left corner, heading through the little tunnel. The fibrous strands are what's left over of the ACL and they were removed during my procedure. In the upper-right photo is more of the torn ACL. I don't remember exactly what the two bottom photos are.

In the two upper photos of the third photo is my meniscus. The upper-left photo shows the damage done in the injury. It's roughed up a bit. The doctor trimmed it up and smoothed it out. The bottom two photos are of my new ACL, made up of my patellar tendon. This is the same location as the shredded ACL photo but after they threaded the patellar tendon through. The doctor told me that when they removed the patellar tendon they remove the middle third including the segments of bone it attaches itself to at the top and bottom. The patellar tendon is approx. the same length as your ACL and it's a somewhat natural pairing. They drill holes in your bone at a diagonal of your knee (so, above your knee to the outside, and below your knee to the inside) and thread the patellar tendon through the whole length. To secure the tendon in place they wedge the piece of bone the tendon was cut out with inside the drilled hole with a screw. Think of putting nails or splints into the handle-portion of an axehead to keep the head from being too loose, with the handle being the patellar tendon.

Each day I notice an improvement with the functionality of my knee. It doesn't necessarily hurt, but it's very tight from the swelling, very warm, and the bones ache from all the trauma. I still have a limp but it gets better. The pain is also helped by percocet, my new best friend. I don't get a high feeling from it or any crazy sensation that would make me want to abuse it, but when my knee is hurting the most, the percocet certainly make it feel more comfortable. Speaking of, I think I might go take some now.

Capítulo Tres Examen

I had my chapter three exam Monday, October 6th and the class did not receive them back until today. We usually get them the following class but the interim two classes had been cancelled. One for the "fall break" including Columbus Day (el dia de Cristóbal Colón) and the other because the teacher was out of the country (He apparently went to Tokyo and Thailand for a friends birthday. Not exactly sure what kind of friend this is or why he would travel around the world for a birthday, but I have theories). After completing and turning in the exam I didn't have a good feeling about how I performed. I knew I had missed several questions and had mispelled at least three answers. I was hoping the teacher might give credit or partial credit because the word was correct even if the spelling wasn't. Today, at the end of class we were given our exams back. He went to hand it to me and noticed my knee. He asked me how it was and told me to do whatever I had to do in class to make myself comfortable. I took my test and walked back to my desk which is when I looked at the top. I first noticed the letter grade, an "A". I was fairly surprised. I figured I would get a "B" at the highest and had spent this past week and half coming with excuses and ways to explain here in the blog why I did poorly. I don't feel like I have a need to explain much with an "A". I then looked at the numerical score. It was "100". I knew that couldn't be right. The obverse was perfect, but I had known that. The issues I identified were on the reverse. When I flipped it over I saw five strikes of red pen. Three were slashes and two were slashes which were circled. I do not know if they are mistakes, the teacher making marks to identify the key areas he was testing for, or just highlights for some reason. One thing I do know is that I didn't bring it to his attention. If he wants to give me a better grade than I can figure I deserve, who am I to tell him otherwise. So, I got a 100. Super. I posted the test on the right like always.

Good day to you.

Distorted Rear View

It's now been almost four days since my ACL reconstruction surgery and the whole experience hasn't been terribly dreadful. Sure, I can't walk well or quickly, can't flex my leg so that it stretches the muscles which are screaming for contraction, can't drive anywhere and have to strap myself to a machine for six hours a day which flexes my knee for me, but it could be worse, right?

I think there's something to be said for lounging on the couch, watching television programming that you find completely uncompelling and tedious. On the flip side, at the very least, my daily activities are stress free. Unless you consider having to allot a few extra minutes to hobble down a fifteen foot hallway to the bathroom stressful. I find it more annoying than anything else. It's frustrating having to lift your leg up manually because it's too sensitive to lift normally. It's frustrating to be forced into what is essentially house arrest. And to add insult to injury I have no view out my window so living some fantasy a la Shia LaBeouf in Disturbia just won't happen (unless you count my fifty-something neighbor who has spoken to me twice in the past few weeks...which is also two times more than any other neighbor has spoken to me, but after seeing her you won't consider her a fantasy...).

The pain gets better each day and the Percocet helps take the edge off. I am having trouble sleeping through the night partly due to the leg and partly due to the medicine. I get tired easily at night and I'll go to bed only to wake an hour later, piss like a racehorse, hobble out and drink some water and then hobble back to bed or to the couch. If I choose the couch I strap myself into the medieval Continuous Passive Motion (CPM) machine and crank it to a light level. It helps me sleep because it keeps the leg from getting restless. Generally while I use this machine I am hooked to a cold water circulator. That helps with the swelling and whatever else. I'm supposed to use the CPM machine for a minimum of six hours and use the cold water circulator for twelve hours. Each day. That's a lot of time doing nothing. I have no plans until my follow up doctors appointment on Wednesday. Even then I can't drive there. I have to rely on someone else for chauffeuring or any higher task which I've thankfully been able to avoid thus far. The temporary loss of independence is certainly a different feeling. I'm not used to being slowed down or not physically being able to do something or anything for that matter.

In the meantime, between my passive leg movements and eating Percocet like Skittles, I'm gonna try to find constructive things to do. I just hope I can find my binoculars.

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It

But it is, so it's gonna be.

It's official: Surgery on my knee will be this Thursday, October 9th. I have elected to have my patellar tendon used to replace my ACL versus the other methods. There will be a long recovery but I don't have a choice. Let's just hope they get the correct knee...